What does it mean to be a man?
Years ago, and to many even now, being a man meant being the protector, the guardian; to ignore your issues and suck it up because men are meant to be tough. Men are meant to be strong.
“We’ve heard it from countless people — rub some dirt in it. Man up and get over it.”
But as time goes on experts are beginning to see just how that mentality can affect the mental health of men across the nation. In, 2021, white males composed the highest suicide rates, followed by American Indian/Alaskan Native males and Black males, according to the Suicide Awareness Voices of Education. The perception of masculine ideology may be to blame for men suffering alone, Brazos Valley Mental Health and Wellness Director Marc Klekar says.
As the rules and regulations that came with COVID began, this new normal began to bring more cases of isolation and fear, which Marc says began to cause additional cases of unresolved and untreated mental health cases, particularly in men. His mission is to ensure that all clients know that they are not alone and there's nothing wrong with needing a little extra help from a loved one or licensed therapist giving struggling men a chance to heal.
“There’s a lot of shame,” Marc says. “I think we’re starting to make strides on it, but it's still under wraps in quite a few male communities. It’s got a huge cloud of the fear of judgment around it.”
From past experiences to the places where someone lived or traveled, Marc says there area lot of things that can influence how someone feels about going to therapy including the social standards or political views in an area.
Though with the right therapist, Marc says that can be the answer to getting past those unwanted feelings of attending therapy. For those interested in attending their first session, he says that they should not be discouraged if they don’t click with first therapist they attend because each person’s journey truly is unique to their own needs.
“Finding the right therapy is often a personal preference,” Marc says. “Some people will click with their therapist and dive right in, but for others, it will take awhile. Although I noticed some of it before, it was more so after COVID because of the lack of person-to-person contact.”
Marc says for many people, therapy begins when they learn to accept that anyone can need help regardless of their age, gender or career, and even as a therapist himself there are times when he also needs someone to talk with.
“I see my own therapist, and even though I work in this industry, it took me around two years to actually get comfortable enough to give her a call,” Marc says. “It’s a scary thing, but I have zero regrets about doing it.”
If therapy isn’t something that someone is ready for in a one-on-one setting, Marc says there are many groups that offer specialty help in a non-clinical setting and can even be tied to hobbies to make it feel more natural.
“There are men's groups that push for a mental health connection where they can lean on each other, and it’s not such a clinical environment,” Marc says. “Some therapists will even come to your niche area; I have had friends go on a jog with their client before, so people are willing to be where you are. Life coaching is also a good place to start, which is more an X, Y, Z, ‘I want to see you do this thing’ environment.”
For those who are looking to take the first step, Marc says getting past that hurdle can even start by talking to a trusted friend or loved one, who is willing to lend a listening ear.
“The scariest part is taking that first step,” Marc says. “You can start by talking to those people you’re close to and voice it. Once you have that first scary conversation, the rest of it becomes a lot less intimidating.”
Mark Klekar
Meet Therapist Marc Klekar
Marc Klekar is a therapist and director for the College Station location for Brazos Valley Mental Health and Wellness. He received his Master of Arts from Stephen F. Austin State University in 2016 and received his LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor) certificate in 2019. Marc often works with male clients 18 years old and older and has experience with military veterans and clients experiencing trauma, intimacy, self-esteem issues, depression, anxiety, bipolar, family conflict and more. If you or someone you know is interested in working with him, he, as well as other therapists, can be contacted through brazosvalleymentalhealth.com.
